


His Name is Harry and other Ridiculous Short Stories

by Lightningecho_s_path



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, Crossover, F/M, Fluffy Randomness, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightningecho_s_path/pseuds/Lightningecho_s_path
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a couple of very short, but very funny (hopefully) stories about what happens when Star Wars mets Percy Jackson. No time line. Lots of AUs</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Name is Harry

**_His Name is Harry_ **

Five-year-old Jacen Solo held the small harry critter in the palm of his hand. 

_‘Harry, that’s a good name.’_ Jacen thought. He ran his finger over the big, furry tarantula’s back. Just then, Jacen’s twin, Jaina strode in the room.

“Jaina look!” he said holding up his new pet.

“Ewww! Gross! Get that ugly thing away from me!” She screeched. Jacen pulled the critter close to his chest.

“His name’s Harry and he’s not ugly or gross!”

“Whatever Jace.” She muttered and walked off.

_FIFTEEN MINOUTS LATER_

 

Annabeth Chase walked down the hall. Where had she put that map? She came into the same room where Jaina had been earlier.

“Hi Annabeth!”

“Hi Jacen.” She said distractedly.

“Do’ya wanna see my new pet?”

“Not right now Jacen. I’m busy.”

“Aww. You’ll love him! Look! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!”

“Fine.” She turned and walked to him.

“See?!?” He asked holding up the tarantula.

“Sp-sp-sp-spider! Ahhhhhhhhh!” she screamed stumbling back into pile of crates. Righting herself she turned and ran away down the hall screaming, “SPIDER!!!!!!!!!!” the whole way.

“HIS NAME IS HARRY!!!!” Jacen shouted after her.


	2. Sugar Rush

_**Sugar Rush!** _

  Three-year-old Ben Skywalker kicked his feet in anticipation on yet another large spoon full of sugar.

  “More! More!” He shouted and Jacen Solo, Leo Valdez, and Anakin Solo complied, Jacen dipping the spoon back into the ten-pound bag of sugar. Ben eagerly opened his mouth.

 

_TEN MINUTES LATER_

  The four of them had hidden the bag of sugar so they wouldn’t get into trouble.

  “Ben!” called the boy’s father. He walked in.

  “Bedtime for Benikinz.” He said scooping the boy up.

  “NO!” Ben screamed.

  “NO NO NO! NO BED TIME!” He screamed again and squirmed out of his father’s arms. Leo covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud at the situation before him and, the others snickered. 


	3. Why is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy has an idea to help win the war against Thrawn.

_**WHY IS A RAVEN LIKE A WRITING DESK?** _

"Hi Annabeth!" called Percy Jackson. Annabeth looked up from conversing with Luke Skywalker.

"Hi." She said warmly.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to figure out a way to defeat Grand Admiral Thrawn's military tactics." Percy's face brightened.

"I have an idea!" he said, and walked out.

"I have a riddle for you." Percy said opening the door to Thrawn's study. The blue skinned chiss narrowed his glowing red eyes at the teen.

"Do you now? Well let's here it."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Thrawn considered for a moment.

"Give me some time to think about it and I'll get back to you." He said shooing Percy out of his study.

Thrawn sat at his command post on the  _Chimaera_. A full  _week_  after Percy had given him the riddle he was still hadn't puzzled it out.

"You may fire when ready." He said still distracted. That was the fatal mistake that caused him to lose the war. AND THAT IS HOW THE NEW REPUBLIC  _REALLY_  WON THE WAR AGAINST THRAWN!

 


	4. Pepperoni Pizzia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the jedi and demi-gods are trying to make plans, but others are busy eating.

**_PEPERONI PIZZA_ **

"So, the way I figure it Master Skywalker, if we-" Annabeth was cut off, by Percy Jackson calling over to Jason, "that was  _my_  slice!" Luke Skywalker, Annabeth Chase, Vestara Khai, Piper McLean, and Hazel Levesque all turned to the three boys; Ben Skywalker, Jason Grace, and Percy Jackson, who had all shared a an extra large peperoni pizza. Now there was only one peace left and they were all squabbling over it. Vestara, who was sitting next Jedi Grandmaster Luke Skywalker, leaned over to him and asked, "Where do they put all that?" just loud enough for the whole group to hear. Everyone stared laughing, except Percy and Jason who looked indignant, and Ben, who was clearly scheming on the last peace of pizza. He saw Percy reach for it but Ben slipped his arm around Percy's chest, trapping both of his, and grabbing the peace himself. He let Percy go and took a big bite.

"Mmmmmmm…!" he said teasingly wile the other two stared at the Jedi in dismay.

Annabeth herd a muffled  _thunk_ from across the table. She looked over and found Vestara had dropped her head to the tabletop in embracement for her boyfriend's actions.

"Ben!" she groaned. Everyone else just laughed.

"So like I was saying,-"

"Annabeth, can we get another pizza?"

"Percy just shut up!" Annabeth moaned.

"What'd I say?" everyone cracked again.


	5. Peat and Repeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Leo develops a crush on Vestara, he tries to win her away from Ben, but his skills need some work

**_ Peat and Repeat_ **

 

  “Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night...  One was assaulted…

“Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud. Yes sir, it's fresh ground.”

"… What's brown and sticky?  A stick… What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin' Catholic… What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, apples don't talk… Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan… What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car… What's brown and sounds like a bell?  Dung… What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor…  Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? That's because he hides well…  Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies…”

Leo spilled out lame joke after lame joke, trying to get Vestara's atteion.  _Why are the hot girls always taken befor I can get at them?_ He wondered. Vestara was, for the most part, ignoring him, stretched out on the sofa, staring at the celling. She hadn’t even looked at him. She was still firmly in with Ben. Leo sighed but then perked up again, “oh, I know one you’ll _love!_ ”

No response. He went on anyway.  “So…” he said, knitting his fingers together and cracking his knuckles and started yet another joke, “Peat and Repeat went fishing, peat fell out of the boat, whose left?” Vestara sighed and humored him, hoping against hope he would leave her alone if she did. 

“Repeat.” 

“Peat and Repeat went fishing, peat fell out of the boat, whose left?” 

“Repeat.”

_Five minutes later_  

“Peat and Repeat went fishing, peat fell out of the boat, whose left?” 

“Repeat.”  “Peat and Repeat went fishing, peat fell out of the boat, whose left?” 

“Repeat.”  _It’s never going to end!!!!!!!_ Vestara thought. She was going to go _crazy!_

“Peat and Repeat went fishing, peat fell out of the boat, whose left?” 

"Oh I give UP!!!!" Vestara moaned and stormed away, hoping Leo wouldn't follow.

"Hey! Wait!" yelled Leo, and followed her.


	6. Liquid Nitration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben, Percy, Leo and the gang pull a prank on a sith high lord, but in doing so, cause Vestara a world of trouble.

_**Liquid Nitration** _

 

  “How do you spell that?” Ben whispered to Percy. Vestara butted into the conversion before Percy could answer that he didn’t know.

"L-I-Q-U-I-D N-I-T-R-A-T-I-O-N” she hissed. Ben hit the appropriate buttons on the label maker as his girlfriend gave him the letters.

“You can make the water freezing cold without it freezing right?” Ben asked Percy. Percy evilly grinned in response.

“You know your part too, right Vestara?” Percy asked.  Vestara gave him a dirty look in response, and muttered, “I can’t believe I’m doing this, I’m going to get into so much trouble.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” That comment earned Percy another glare. Vestara had been sucked into the boys’ little plot to pull a prank on either High Lord Sarasu Taalon or her own father, Saber Gavar Khai, and she was most certainty _not_ happy about it.

“Awww come on Ves, live a little! This’ll be fun you’ll see.” Vestara gave her jedi counterpart her best _I-am-a-sith-and-if-you-do-not-shut-up-right-now-I-promise-I-will-kill-you_ stare. Ben sighed.

“So what exactly is going on with you two? Are you two a…thing or what?” asked Percy, seeing the tension between his two companions.

“With _him!?_ _”_ Sneered Vestara, then finished with a simple, but effective, “He’s. A. _Jedi_ _._ ” She snarled.

“Oh, come on! A blind non-Force user could feel the sexual tension between you two.” Vestara started to reach for her lightsaber, but Ben defused the situation by quickly saying, “guys, were getting off topic, and running out of time. Let’s go, Percy, does Leo have the cam?”

“Well…that depends…”

“On?” asked Vestara.

“How much of the camera, you consider _your camera_. I took it apart and upgraded it.”

Vestara harumphed at the same time Ben said-with a huge grin, "Awesome!" 

                                     *                   *                     *  

“HEY!!!” Taalon looked up to see, the youngest Skywalker running towards him waving his arms wildly. Annoyance flickered within him. The boy didn’t even need to be near him to irritate Taalon. Ben ran up, panting.

“You…didn’t just…drink that…did you?” Taalon narrowed his eyes.

“Yes. I did.”

“That’s liquid nitrogen!” Ben yelped, snatching the canteen from Taalon’s hands and turning it around so Taalon could see the label Ben had typed up earlier. Taalon froze.

“Don’t move! I’ll go get my dad! He’ll know what to do!” Ben darted off.

 

“Don’t move! I’ll go get my dad! He’ll know what to do!” inwardly Vestara sighed. That was her cue, as soon as Ben was out of sight, she grabbed her High Lord’s shoulder, and screamed; scaring him, and causing him to make a high pitched shrieking sound. Taalon spun around bearing down on the young woman, drawing his lightsaber.

_I’m going to die! I’m going to die! Taalon is going to kill me because I took part in Ben's stupid prank! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

 

The laughter Ben, Percy, and Leo had been indulging in died in their throats. Ben spun around to run and get his dad, but Luke was already on the job.

 

Vestara closed her eyes, waiting for the killing below. She heard Taalon’s lightsaber clashed with another. Vestara opened her eyes to see Luke had stopped the attack.

“What’s going on here!?” Luke demanded, looking from Taalon to Vestara to Ben, Leo, and Percy and back again.

“It’s my fault Dad,” Ben said quietly. “I blackmailed Vestara into helping Leo, Percy, and I pull a prank on Taalon.” Ben bowed his head in shame at the fact that he had nearly gotten Vestara killed. Luke sighed, shaking his head.

“Just get back to ship, we’re ready to leave.”

 

As the boys and Vestara walked back to the _Jade Shadow_ Percy suddenly asked, “so how did you get Vestara to help us? You never told us. It must be pretty bad, considering she seemed to know that would happen.” Vestara glanced at Ben in panic and shook her head franticly. Ben gave Percy a dry smirk.

“Maybe someday, I’ll tell you, but for now, it isn’t my story to tell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not as funny as I wanted. this sounded a lot better in my head.


	8. Paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben feel paranoid, but is that all or are his fears warranted?

**_Paranoia_ **

Percy lay on a beech next to Annabeth, Ben, and Vetsara looking at the ocean and stars. 

  "Sure is beautiful out here." whispered Vestara.

  "Yeah." Annabeth agreed.

  "Hey," Ben said sitting up. The others rolled over to look at him. "Do you guys ever get the feeling we're being watched?"

  "Stop being so paranoid Ben." Vestara complained, pulling him back down and laying her head on his chest. Percy sat up.

  "Yeah, I get were you're coming from. It's like someone is watching our every move, like they've been keeping tabs on us though out our whole lives." Percy murmured. The girls glanced at each other, feeling it too now.

  "I think it's coming from right...there." *Vestara points, and everyone stare directly you.*


	9. Ben's Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically this is how Ben got Vestara to help in the boy's little prank in "Liquid Nitrogen".

Ben's songs

 

“Ves, com on! It’ll be fun!”

“No Ben! I’m not going to do it!” Vestara snapped.

“I’m sorry Ves, I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.” Ben sighed, shaking his head and opened his mouth to try the last resort he had to get her to help the demi-gods and Ben with this prank; stupid little songs.

_I’m a little coconut,_  
Sitting on my coco-butt  
Everybody steps on me  
Just to see how cracked I’ll be.

__  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy._

_Called myself up on the phone,_  
Just to see if I was home  
Asked myself out on a date  
Have to be ready by half-past-eight.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_Took myself to the picture show_  
Sat myself in the second row  
Wrapped my arms around my waist  
Got so fresh I slapped my face.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_Bought some roses at the store._  
Told myself I wanted more.  
That's why I broke up with me.  
Now I am a nut that's free!

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_Gee, I miss me all the time._  
Wonder if I'm doing fine.  
Maybe I'll stop by to see  
If I have a chance with me.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_Coca Cola came to town_  
Pepsi Cola shot him down  
Dr. Pepper fixed him up  
Now we all drink 7-Up.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_7-Up caught the flu_  
Now we all drink Mountain Dew  
Mountain Dew caught it too  
Now we don’t know what to do.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_I’m a little piece of tin_  
No one knows what shape I’m in  
Got four wheels and a running board  
I’m a Chevy, not a Ford.

_I’m a nut, boom boom_  
I’m a nut, boom boom  
 _I’m a nut, I’m a nut,  
_ _I’m crazy_

_Coconut crossed the street_  
Even though he has no feet  
Stepped on a crack and broke his back  
Now he’s a…

_No more nut,_  
no more nut,  
no, he’s a no,  
no more nut…he’s a fruit!

Vestara's was grimacing by the end of Ben's song, but he wasn’t done by a longshot.

_A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut,_  
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut   
A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut,   
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

_Mc Donald's, Mc Donald's,_  
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut   
Mc Donald's, Mc Donald's,   
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

_A Burger King, a Burger King,_  
A Taco Bell and a Burger King   
A Burger King, a Burger King,   
A Taco Bell and a Burger King

_Red Lobster, Red Lobster,_  
Taco Bell and a Burger King   
Red Lobster, Red Lobster,   
Taco Bell and a Burger King

_There are no bananas in the sky, in the sky_  
There are no bananas in the sky   
There's a sun   
And a moon   
And a coconut cream pie   
But there are no bananas in the sky, in the sky!

_There are no ------- in the sky, in the sky_  
There are no ------- in the sky   
There's a sun   
And a moon   
And a coconut cream pie   
But there are no ------- in the sky, in the sky!

_There are no ------- in the ---, in the ---_  
There are no ------- in the ---   
There's a sun   
And a moon   
And a coconut cream pie   
But there are no ------- in the ---, in the ---!

_There are no ------- in the ---, in the ---_  
There are no ------- in the ---   
There's a ---   
And a moon   
And a coconut cream pie   
But there are no ------- in the ---, in the ---!

_There are no ------- in the ---, in the ---_  
There are no ------- in the ---   
There's a ---   
And a ----   
And a coconut cream pie   
But there are no ------- in the ---, in the ---!

_There are no ------- in the ---, in the ---_  
There are no ------- in the ---   
There's a ---   
And a ----   
And a ------- ----- ---   
But there are no ------- in the ---, in the ---!

_Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!_  
And on that farm he had a pine tree...   
  
Where they cut down the old pine tree, TIMBER! And hauled it away to the mill, tra, la, la!

__  
Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!  
And on that farm he had a home...   
  
Home, home on the range,   
Where they cut down the old pine tree, TIMBER! And hauled it away to the mill, tra, la, la!

_Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!_  
And on that farm he had a dog,   
(  
Oh where oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where oh where can he be?   
He's home, home on the range,   
Where they cut down the old pine tree! TIMBER! and they hauled it away to the mill, tra, la, la!

_Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!_  
And on that farm he had a Sweetheart...  
  
Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you, Let me hear you whisper,   
Oh where oh where has my little dog gone, Oh where oh where can he be?   
He's home, home on the range,   
Where they cut down the old pine tree, TIMBER! And they hauled it away to the mill, tra, la, la!

_Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!_  
And on that farm he had a skunk hole...   
  
Welllll I stuck my head in a little skunk hole and the little skunk said to me…  
Let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you, Let me hear you whisper,   
Oh where oh where has my little dog gone, Oh where oh where can he be?   
He's home, home on the range,   
Where they cut down the old pine tree, TIMBER! And they hauled it away to the mill, tra, la, la!   
  
Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o!  
And on his farm he had an ending  
E-I-E-I-O!

Vestara had had enough.

“All right! I’ll pull the stupid prank as long as you _SHUT THE KARK UP!_ ” she practically screamed. Ben's grin got wider.

“I knew you’d see it my way!”

“If this kills me, my Force-ghost will haunt you.”


End file.
